She's Not A Mary Sue, Honest

[flwrpwr_vampyre]

Authors: Myself and keevacaereni
Rating: R-ish
Warnings: Het sex, Mary Sue, cliches
Summary: All Rorschach needs is the right woman
Nothes: So, mirai_gohan challenged her flist to write her a Watchmen bad!fic. This is the result.

Tiffany Amber Darkholme was walking home in the dark from Hot Topic.



She wasn't at all startled when Rorschach jumped down in front of her. In fact she was excited, her violet eyes lighting up in delight. She'd always wanted to meet this man, he was so much like her!


She like totally understood pain, because her dad was mean and wouldn’t let her go out drinking at night with her friends. She did anyway though, lol.



She gazed up at the infamous mask from her tiny height of 5 foot nothing. She had complained about it before but now knowing that she could make Rorschach feel tall and manly she loved it. The mask changed and she caught her breath, it looked like two lips touching and she wondered if he was thinking the same thing she was.



Her perfectly made up eyes (with lots of mascara) looked downwards, past his manly arms and chest and further down to his manhood. The passion that filled her was overwhelming.

He lifted up his mask and her gaze flew upwards as her rosebud shaped lips formed an O of surprise. Suddenly she noticed that he was breathing heavily too and she tingled with the knowledge that he wanted her just as badly.

"Hi, I'm Tiffany Amber but my friends call me Mary Sue. Uh, pleased to meet you!"

Oh God! She sounded like such an idiot! He wouldn't like her al all now. What was she going to do?

Tears filled her eyes, pooling over and spilling down her perfectly smooth cheeks. Suddenly she was enveloped in a hug, his strong arms wrapping around her. She snuggled into him as she wept. He smelled so good, he was like some shining knight come to rescue her from her dull life and take her away. She never wanted him to let go.

He pulled back slightly so he could stoke her cheek, fingers gentle and kind.



She gazed up to where his eyes would be if she could see them and mirrored his movements breathlessly. His stubble scratched against her soft fingertips and she couldn't believe her dreams, her fantasies were coming true.



She moved her hands down to his throat, slowly untying his scarf and a few buttons on his trench coat. She ran her fingertips over his Adam’s apple and felt him gulp. He grabbed her hand and gently sucked her fingers until she gasped.



She went weak in the knees, would have fallen if he didn't catch her and pick her up. Her legs, perfectly smooth and a pale white, wrapped around his waist. She could feel his bulging erection against her hello kitty panties.



Wait, what was she doing? About to have sex in an alley with, okay yeah, the hottest man alive except for Adrian Veidt. Good girls didn't do stuff like this!


Aw who cares, she thought as she slid down her pants and braced against the wall.



Lucky for both of them she wasn't a good girl. She thrust her behind out behind her and gasped as he smacked it. How had he known that she had a spanking thing?



She moaned as he sped up, the rhythm of his thrusts matching the rhythm of his spanking. Neither of them were going to last long-he was too desperate and she was too good.



She orgasmed without him even touching her, just like a woman should. Just his penis was enough for her.



He came a few moments later, filling her to the brim. She slid down the wall, gasping with pleasure.

They walked to his house together, where he held the door open for her and let her babble excitedly about redecorating.



She wrinkled her cute button nose at how drab the place was and resolved to get curtains.

They were going to live happily ever after and he chuckled when she sighed this out loud.



"Oh Rory" She sighed. "I love you so much it's almost unbelievable!"

"I love you too" He said.


THE END.

Comments

[flwrpwr-vampyre.livejournal.com]

The really unfair part of it is that Matthew Goode doesn't live chained up in my basement. God!

[keevacaereni.livejournal.com]

Or mine. *shifty eyes* Yet.

[flwrpwr-vampyre.livejournal.com]

You are closer. Bitch.

[keevacaereni.livejournal.com]

Hey, Britain's still a big place. Don't worry though, I have a cunning plan. And I share well.

[flwrpwr-vampyre.livejournal.com]

It's still not an ocean. But if we're sharing if I somehow manage to get my hands on him while he's over here you'll be the first one I call.

[keevacaereni.livejournal.com]

Aw, thanks. It'd probably be nice for him to hear a familiar accent. Although with my accent maybe not...

[flwrpwr-vampyre.livejournal.com]

While I know the accents are all different and can pick out ones that sound alike I cannot for the like remember where they're all from.

[keevacaereni.livejournal.com]

The delectable Mr. Goode has (I think) an Estuary accent, which is London way, whereas I'm from South Yorkshire and sound very broad and Northern. Think whippets and coal mines. (If you've seen Kes then that's my hometown. It was shown with subtitles. In London.)

[flwrpwr-vampyre.livejournal.com]

Turns out I can download said movie.

I think it's pretty weird that accents overseas can get so thick that no one can understand them. There's not one accent over here that's like that, even though they vary quite a bit.

Is this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vurj6HOV1I4) what your accent sounds like?

[keevacaereni.livejournal.com]

Yeah! God, it's nice to hear a familiar accent. Kes was filmed a bit ago when the accent was much thicker, but it also had a lot of dialect words that no one gets, like lekin aht.

I think it's because we have history and isolation on our side. People didn't leave their villages, and places ten miles away have different accents. Also, we've had the better part of two thousand years to develop them. :)

Hope this isn't boring you, I tend to ramble when it's about my subject.

(btw, lekin aht means playing outside.)

[flwrpwr-vampyre.livejournal.com]

So do you think the accents are blending a little more now with the help of television?

Yeah we've only have a few hundred years to work on our accents. I come from the accentless part of the nation in the Midwest. This (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bquCFDp1hM4&feature=channel_page) is my voice, the two charming gentlemen are my husband and son.

I accept your apology if you'll accept mine, I love having access to youtube.

[keevacaereni.livejournal.com]

That and the proliferation of elocution lessions. In the 50s if you wanted to move up in life you had to sound right. We're still holding on though, Yorksher is tougher than most.

Aww, you're son is so cute! He remind me a bit of my brothers when they were younger and you'd film them, all smiley and cute.

Your voice sounds accented to me, but I guess it's generic American and not a specific accent?

I accept your apology, though I don't know what it's for. YouTube is awesome!

[flwrpwr-vampyre.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm not even being braggy when I talk about how cute he is, I hear from everyone. (Ok, maybe I'm still being braggy)

Right, it's the accent newscasters and actors aim for because you can't tell straightaway where you're from.

Oh it's for the videos, I'm always afraid I'm going to annoy people with how often I'll link to stuff.

[keevacaereni.livejournal.com]

Even if it is braggy, it's justified because he is adorable! God I miss my brothers now, they're six and four and I want a baby cuddle!

Oh, we use RP or Estuary, like newsreaders and people, but it's generally getting more relaxed here about accents.

Link away!

[flwrpwr-vampyre.livejournal.com]

Heh, my youngest sibling is seven now. And all of us older ones are getting married and having babies so my mom barely had to wait before she had little ones to coo over that she didn't have to change.

What's RP then?

Currently I'm linking everyone to the Oasis video by Amanda Palmer. I can give that to you.

[keevacaereni.livejournal.com]

Aw, my mum wants grandkids. She gonna be waiting a while, I can tell you.

RP is recieved pronunciation. It's the Queen's English, basically. Listen to newsreaders from the 50s and that's what it sounds like.

You're alright for that link, I think I've heard it already. :)

[keevacaereni.livejournal.com]

Sorry about the spam, I'm doing Linguistics at uni and accents and dialects are my special interests. :)

My point was that I sound quite common and perhaps uncouth. I can't imagine it would be too comforting.

[flwrpwr-vampyre.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's spam, I love stuff about accents - especially British ones as they're all so different for such a small continent.

[keevacaereni.livejournal.com]

Yay I'm not boring you! I like American accents as well, my dad used to live over there and I heard a few different ones. They seem to be more homogenised than British ones though. I could be wrong, I don't know much about them.

[flwrpwr-vampyre.livejournal.com]

They're all at least understandable although there are distinct ones for various areas of course. As well as distinctive slang, although, once again, my area doesn't really have anything distinctive.

[keevacaereni.livejournal.com]

Britain's getting better, but most people have more than one way of talking. There's broad accents amongst friends and then an accent more like what you'd hear on telly for people from other places. It cuts down on confusion. :)

[flwrpwr-vampyre.livejournal.com]

Seriously? That's the coolest thing ever.

[keevacaereni.livejournal.com]

It's not as clear cut as that, but it's a bit like someones phone voice, where you make yourself sound better to strangers. Everyone does it, it's a way of showing status. We did it in class. If you deliberately talk in a thick accent in front of someone who doesn't understand, it's really rude!

[flwrpwr-vampyre.livejournal.com]

That makes sense. I'm finding all of this so fascinating. Does everyone do that or just people with thicker accents?

[keevacaereni.livejournal.com]

Everyone does it, it's called compromising I think. You subconciously try to sound a little like the person you're talking to, it shows friendliness and respect.

People constantly adjust their speech to fit in with society in general.