Evolution Sucks
Dec. 30th, 2007 03:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
flwrpwr_vampyreTitle: Evolution Sucks
Pairing: None
Rating: PG
Warnings: Crack! Mild language
Summary: “Seriously Ted, you’re not just a bad-tempered asshole?”
Notes: Thanks toflying_monkees for beta’ing me! Written for the ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
mission_insane prompt: crack: weird
Pairing: None
Rating: PG
Warnings: Crack! Mild language
Summary: “Seriously Ted, you’re not just a bad-tempered asshole?”
Notes: Thanks to
flying_monkees for beta’ing me! Written for the mission_insane prompt: crack: weird“Seriously Ted, you’re not just a bad-tempered asshole? You have to be a blood-sucking parasite on top of that?”
Ted shrugged.
“Yeah, it’s part of the whole evolution thing. First powers, then blood-sucking parasitism.”
“What?” Matt wailed. “I don’t want to suck blood and I don’t appreciate you making up words!”
“What…I’m not...nevermind. You think I want this either? First my wife died and now-“
“And that,” Matt inserted, still looking like a sulking 13-year-old. “No-one cares about that either. So you killed your wife, she forgave you, move on. If you want one so bad you can have mine. She cheats but at least she’s alive.”
Ted growled and Matt ran into the bathroom of their motel room and locked the door.
“I claim this as my house and you are not invited!” the telepath shrieked.
He could hear the vampire’s mental eyeroll.
If your blood didn’t taste disgusting I would so drink you dry.
“What?” Matt shrieked. “You drank from me?! And what do you mean I don’t taste good? I hate you so much more now!”
Ted grinned to himself. He hadn't really drank off the other man but it was funny that he'd holed himself up in the bathroom. He flicked on the tv and settled back. Finally, he'd have some peace and quiet from Matt's incessant talking.
Ted shrugged.
“Yeah, it’s part of the whole evolution thing. First powers, then blood-sucking parasitism.”
“What?” Matt wailed. “I don’t want to suck blood and I don’t appreciate you making up words!”
“What…I’m not...nevermind. You think I want this either? First my wife died and now-“
“And that,” Matt inserted, still looking like a sulking 13-year-old. “No-one cares about that either. So you killed your wife, she forgave you, move on. If you want one so bad you can have mine. She cheats but at least she’s alive.”
Ted growled and Matt ran into the bathroom of their motel room and locked the door.
“I claim this as my house and you are not invited!” the telepath shrieked.
He could hear the vampire’s mental eyeroll.
If your blood didn’t taste disgusting I would so drink you dry.
“What?” Matt shrieked. “You drank from me?! And what do you mean I don’t taste good? I hate you so much more now!”
Ted grinned to himself. He hadn't really drank off the other man but it was funny that he'd holed himself up in the bathroom. He flicked on the tv and settled back. Finally, he'd have some peace and quiet from Matt's incessant talking.