flwrpwr_vampyre: (Staring)
[personal profile] flwrpwr_vampyre
Title: Evolution Sucks
Pairing: None
Rating: PG
Warnings: Crack! Mild language
Summary: “Seriously Ted, you’re not just a bad-tempered asshole?”
Notes:  Thanks to [personal profile] flying_monkees for beta’ing me! Written for the [community profile] mission_insane prompt: crack: weird

“Seriously Ted, you’re not just a bad-tempered asshole? You have to be a blood-sucking parasite on top of that?”

Ted shrugged.

“Yeah, it’s part of the whole evolution thing.  First powers, then blood-sucking parasitism.”

“What?” Matt wailed. “I don’t want to suck blood and I don’t appreciate you making up words!”

“What…I’m not...nevermind. You think I want this either? First my wife died and now-“

“And that,” Matt inserted, still looking like a sulking 13-year-old. “No-one cares about that either. So you killed your wife, she forgave you, move on. If you want one so bad you can have mine. She cheats but at least she’s alive.”

Ted growled and Matt ran into the bathroom of their motel room and locked the door.

“I claim this as my house and you are not invited!” the telepath shrieked.

He could hear the vampire’s mental eyeroll.

If your blood didn’t taste disgusting I would so drink you dry.

“What?” Matt shrieked. “You drank from me?! And what do you mean I don’t taste good?  I hate you so much more now!”

Ted grinned to himself. He hadn't really drank off the other man but it was funny that he'd holed himself up in the bathroom. He flicked on the tv and settled back. Finally, he'd have some peace and quiet from Matt's incessant talking.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-12-31 06:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thepansythug.livejournal.com
I laugh. I hate Ted. I love Matt. It all works. I claim this fic as my crack and you are not invited!

(no subject)

Date: 2007-12-31 06:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flwrpwr-vampyre.livejournal.com
YOU CANNOT HAVE TEH CRACK!!! (Not without sharing)

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-01 01:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aussievamp.livejournal.com
"I don’t appreciate you making up words!”
Heehee. I loves me this crack. Sharing is good. This so works... I love Ted and dislike Matt and therefore love this... Heehee.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-01-01 06:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flwrpwr-vampyre.livejournal.com
Heh, Matt almost always get the short end of the stick in my fics. Lol
If you have crack it's rude not to share.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-26 10:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thestraychild.livejournal.com
So you killed your wife, she forgave you, move on. If you want one so bad you can have mine. She cheats but at least she’s alive.”

*gigglesnorts*

"I claim this as my house and you are not invited!” the telepath shrieked.

The absolute absurdity of that statement is so Parkman I could cry -- as soon as I catch my breath, maybe I will.

I love Ted. I especially love Ted/Parkman. But mostly Ted. He's such a card.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-29 02:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flwrpwr-vampyre.livejournal.com
I can't believe you're commenting back this far, you are seriously awesome!

I do love that line, makes me wish the crack came easier. Lol

(no subject)

Date: 2008-07-29 07:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thestraychild.livejournal.com
Aww, shucks. It's your fault for writing such awesome stuff. I wonder how long it'll take me to get through everything? Hmm...

They are just so great together. And you've definitely managed to capture Ted's elusive "cuddle-me-hit-me" quality. Which is totally great.

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August 2010

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