ext_165702 ([identity profile] terraswrath.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] flwrpwr_vampyre 2009-03-14 05:26 pm (UTC)

Wow, this is incredibly powerful and heartbreaking in all the right ways. Luke's angst and his desperation to belong bleeds off the page, and it's the first time I've seen this side of Luke - that must be there - in fanfic.

The first thing that jumped out at me after I finished reading with the juxtaposition of the "spray so hot" at the beginning, capturing his disturbed longing, and the "cold water" that "rained down on him", portraying how empty his fulfillment is.

This perverse idea that Luke would "wonder when Sylar was going to kill him. How badly it would hurt" rings true on so many levels, and it just goes to show how all of what he's seen has affected him. In the end, Luke is just a boy, and not a killer, so it's no surprise that Sylar's sadistic nature would've rubbed off on him. It creates a yearning crossed with disgust, generating the contrasting atmosphere between pain and pleasure.

I'm intrigued by the line "he just couldn't stop. He wanted to, he knew he should", because to me, he's not talking about wanking off in the shower. It's as if he's reflecting on his journey with Sylar: he knows this was a mistake, that he's going to get killed and the right thing to do would be to get as far away from Sylar as possible, but then he wouldn't be wanted, and that's what he wants above all else.

Of course, I have no idea if that was what you were getting at, but how he feels his death "would be worth it [...] just to have something about himself that someone wanted" seems to reinforce that point. It's such a powerful statement, and portrays how much Luke has been pushed to the back of the metaphorical closet the length of his life. It's almost as if he's justifying the reader why he's placing himself on death row - and doing a hell of a good job of it, too. Being wanted is such a basic human need, and you can't help but agree with him: that a long life of being invisible can't compare to the short life of being valuable.

I like how you've hinted at the idea of Luke both being very young and completely under Sylar's control at the same time. The way he "bit[es] down on his other hand" reminds me of how Sylar cannot tolerate those that are weak, and if Sylar ever found out Luke got off in that way may lead to his abandonment. Luke is so vulnerable and breakable in those last couple of sentences, the way he "tuck[s] his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them".

The last line is incredibly harsh and rounds off perfectly the life that Luke leads now - brutal and relentless, and his inability to get away from Sylar means that he can only come to terms with his upcoming demise by getting off on it. A brilliant piece detailing how Luke has been completely broken by Sylar. Well done :)

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